Chinatown Barber

Do I really have to write anything here? I guess all I have to say is that NYC is without a doubt the most ridiculous city. Here is a funny conversation:

Person #1: Hey great haircut!
Person #2: Thanks!
Person #1: Who cut your hair?
Person #2: Mei Dick.

Chinatown Dentist

Only in Chinatown would a dentists office be called Dr. Toothy. I would rather have my teeth cleaned in a strip mall dentist office that is just called "Dentist." I feel like Dr. Toothy would be the name of a character on Pee-Wee's Playhouse who was a dentist and perhaps it would be played by Wallace Shawn. (if you don't know who Wallace Shawn is, he played the short, bald sidekick of Andre the Giant in The Princess Bride).

Kenny-Shack

So I just realized that Kenny Loggins not only sings the opening song from Caddyshack but he also sings the opening song from Caddyshack 2. In the first Caddyshack, the movie opens with Kenny singing the classic "I'm Alright." In Caddyshack 2, the movie opens with Jonathan Silverman running back to the shack for a Root Beer and the song playing is called "Nobody's Fool." Here is the video:



It's funny how in Caddyshack the name of the song Kenny sings is called "I'm Alright." The movie is a classic and the song is great. I'll say Kenny was definitely Alright. However, Caddyshack 2 is a bit different. The name of the song is "Nobody's Fool." Come on Kenny, let it go. The movie is terrible, Jackie Mason is the lead, Chevy Chase and Dan Aykroyd are terrible in it and the new Danny Noonan is Johnathan Silverman. You're pretty foolish.

Comic Strip Audition

I had an audition last night at the Comic Strip Live! in NYC. I destroyed which in comedy terms means I killed which in comedy terms means I had an amazing set and I didn't pass the audition. My feedback consisted of:

1.) "You went over your time a little bit."
2.) "Don't start off with drug jokes. People look at you with your long hair, beard and Grateful Dead shirt and they figure it out."
3.) "I love that weather channel bit. Keep writing original bits like that."

I love how he told me to keep working on original bits like the weather channel bit. This guy must hear bits about NY city Thai Restaurants called Joey Thai on a nightly basis.

WTF???!!!???

I cannot believe they are re-making the movie The Stepfather. Come on!!! I am beside myself right now. Even though I will go see it just out of curiosity, I only have one Stepfather and that is the great Terry O'Quinn who perfected the role way before he was Lost on a island.

This is your brain:


This is your brain on drugs:


Any questions?

Childish Temp

I'm just sitting here at my temp job, not working, and I wanted a snack so I went into the kitchen, poured myself a bowl of cheerios and dumped a spoonful of honey on top of them basically turning a normal bowl of cheerios into honey cheerios, which is something that I haven't done since I was about six. Perhaps tomorrow I should whip up some toast with butter and sprinkle some cinnamon and sugar on it thus turning it into Cinnamon Toast. That would really show off my maturity.

Duane Reade is bringing sexy back!!

Whose that with the sexy new look? Its Duane, Its Duane! Looks like Duane Reade got a little sick of their old look. This one is located on the Upper West Side and oh my does it look good. I may have to wear a collared shirt next time I go to pick up some Imodium AD.